What do you think of this dog of mine?

I started writing a book this past weekend.

This is not the same as the book I started in 2018 when my parents were attacked in their home, which ultimately led to my father’s death. It’s not the book I’m already contracted to write for a publisher. Nor is it the book another publisher asked me to write based on a conversation we had.

There is something I need to learn to do and I can’t pay for the learning. So I have to teach myself.

This book is a diary of a re-education.

This is the book about me learning to do something I know zero about. Learning to do something of which I have always been (just admit it, Schimke) disdainful.

My project modus operandi has always been to pursue an idea to the point where it feels viable and only then talk about it. Today, in the spirit of my year of doing everything differently, I’m sharing my first 1 000 words here on Extra Large for paid subscribers.

Not just letting go — actively lobbing. Picture credit: I don’t know. I found this card inside a copy of The White Review No.9. It had no credits on it.

I’m open to feedback. Don’t tell me what’s not working. It’s too early for that. I’m not robust enough yet on this idea. If you want to say anything, tell me what is working.

I read this Werner Herzog quote last year that stuck with me. I don’t know if it’s just the rhythm of the line or its inherent butchness, but I like it: ‘Send out all your dogs.’

Send out all your dogs and one might return with prey.

This idea is one of the many dogs I’m sending out this year. It’s a thing I am lobbing out into the world barely warmed, never mind half-baked. A barely baked dog, if you will.

I’m practising living unsafely. Bear with me.