I know with certainty that you didn’t write this in an attempt to elicit wonder and admiration because that’s just not you… Nevertheless, I am in awe of your ability to navigate that conversation the way you did. Teach me your ways, oh wise one! I guess it starts with being generous enough to assume nothing about the speaker’s character based on a single (if triggering) statement. I don’t know how you manage to give me food for thought so consistently in these Love Letters but I value it so much. I can’t think or write more about it now as I’m just snatching lunch in between tasks on my everlasting todo list but please know this will be something that crawls around in my subconscious and will undoubtedly influence my reaction in similar situations in the future. Thank you.
You know, I was very iffy about this one. It feels like it borders on virtue signalling. I could only make peace with posting this because I am still learning how to do this. My first response is always to bristle...to want to run away or scream when people say things I think are (whatever I think they are). But confrontation isn't helpful and it's divisive and probably does nothing to make the world less split down the middle (in a thousand different ways). I've been thinking so much about how peace works. How negotiation works. And how valuable those things are on both a micro and a macro level. It's so easy to get hurled into your feels. The people who do peace and negotiation work, the people who bring down temperatures, I have SO MUCH admiration for them. I don't yet know how to do that. Sometimes I'm so floored by casual bigotry casually flung into conversations that all I am aware of is my body's visceral reactions and I find it hard to access the calm and rational part of me. I want to learn how to do this. Better and more often. What do I have to lose, after all? Good luck with your big list, dear Noah-fam.
You’ve just done it again! I also worry about virtue signalling with certain FB posts of mine. It’s so hard to be authentic without sounding like a smug wanker! But I think you are right to celebrate and speak about this new ability to slow down your reactions sometimes and become curious. It’s good to talk about these aspirations even if you don’t feel you’ve perfected the responses.
Ha! I’d like to think we’re both pragmatic enough to take it on the chin, even if it hurts in the moment. I’d also like to think it’s a moot point since it wouldn’t happen! Am I delusional? *panics*
A wonderful post, Karin. I wish I’d read this before reacting in a very bristly manner to a similarly racist statement made by a woman in a Woollies queue recently. A conversation with her would’ve benefited both of us. You’re a damn fine writer, Ms Schimke. . .
I know with certainty that you didn’t write this in an attempt to elicit wonder and admiration because that’s just not you… Nevertheless, I am in awe of your ability to navigate that conversation the way you did. Teach me your ways, oh wise one! I guess it starts with being generous enough to assume nothing about the speaker’s character based on a single (if triggering) statement. I don’t know how you manage to give me food for thought so consistently in these Love Letters but I value it so much. I can’t think or write more about it now as I’m just snatching lunch in between tasks on my everlasting todo list but please know this will be something that crawls around in my subconscious and will undoubtedly influence my reaction in similar situations in the future. Thank you.
You know, I was very iffy about this one. It feels like it borders on virtue signalling. I could only make peace with posting this because I am still learning how to do this. My first response is always to bristle...to want to run away or scream when people say things I think are (whatever I think they are). But confrontation isn't helpful and it's divisive and probably does nothing to make the world less split down the middle (in a thousand different ways). I've been thinking so much about how peace works. How negotiation works. And how valuable those things are on both a micro and a macro level. It's so easy to get hurled into your feels. The people who do peace and negotiation work, the people who bring down temperatures, I have SO MUCH admiration for them. I don't yet know how to do that. Sometimes I'm so floored by casual bigotry casually flung into conversations that all I am aware of is my body's visceral reactions and I find it hard to access the calm and rational part of me. I want to learn how to do this. Better and more often. What do I have to lose, after all? Good luck with your big list, dear Noah-fam.
You’ve just done it again! I also worry about virtue signalling with certain FB posts of mine. It’s so hard to be authentic without sounding like a smug wanker! But I think you are right to celebrate and speak about this new ability to slow down your reactions sometimes and become curious. It’s good to talk about these aspirations even if you don’t feel you’ve perfected the responses.
If I ever sound like a smug wanker, please klap me 😁 And thank you 💕
😂 It’s a deal as long as you do the same for me.
If we can survive that, we are solid 😂
Ha! I’d like to think we’re both pragmatic enough to take it on the chin, even if it hurts in the moment. I’d also like to think it’s a moot point since it wouldn’t happen! Am I delusional? *panics*
I loved this post, with its beautiful gentle and considered response to a difficult conversation. A lesson for me.
Thank you.
Thank you, Janet. I had to think of something to do, because I can get bitter and loveless quite quickly when people are thoughtless.
Me too. Conversations can descend so quickly and easily.
Thanks so much for sharing this, Karin. Hope we get to be seat buddies on a plane one day :)
Siel, imagine! That would be the coolest thing!
Wonderful, fascinating newsletter - thank you!
A wonderful post, Karin. I wish I’d read this before reacting in a very bristly manner to a similarly racist statement made by a woman in a Woollies queue recently. A conversation with her would’ve benefited both of us. You’re a damn fine writer, Ms Schimke. . .